Thinking it Through and Writing it Down

The Halloween thing...

2008-11-04T19:31:00.002-06:00

I've pretty much come to the conclusion that blogging is not something that I'm going to do with any sort of regularity. I love to read my daughters' blogs, my nieces' blogs, and other friends' and family blogs. But I don't have whatever it takes--be it time, focus or interest--to sit down every day and turn the events of my life into the blog version of sound bites--crisp, concise, funny and readable.

Once in a while, though, something grabs my attention in a really compelling way. I spend hours, or days, thinking it through, but not writing it down. A discussion yesterday with Blogging Daughter #1 kicked off a thought process that has filled my head so much that I actually have to write it down. This will take awhile, but here goes....

The Halloween thing.... We pulled the plug on Halloween 25 years ago. We had been going to church and really seeking the Lord for about 3 years. I was attending a weekly women's Bible study; we were going to a couple's study on Wednesday nights. I wanted to know God, who He was, what He was like, what He wanted from me. And He is so completely faithful to respond to a searching heart, often in ways that you are totally unprepared for. When you read in your Bible, "Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth..." and you ask Him to do that, He will shake your world.

The elementary school that our daughters were attending did Halloween in a big way. The kids were allowed to wear their costumes to school, they had a big party in each classroom and, in the middle of the morning, there was a school wide parade. Every single classroom, from K-6, walked out of the building and around the big center courtyard. All the parents came and watched the classes march by, oohing and aahing, and snapping pictures. That particular year, I stood and watched those sweet little children walk by and my stomach turned. There were 5 year olds whose faces looked like an open grave. It was sickening. One of the little girls in our younger daughter's class had a mom whose parents had been make-up artists and that child was decked out as a truly disturbing witch. I had been increasingly uneasy about Halloween, but this year, one thought resonated through every cell in my body. "This does not honor the Lord".

So we stopped. I really couldn't articulate well why I felt the way I did. That's all I could say--"This doesn't honor the Lord". And I was very well aware of how offensive that was to people who were still taking part in this holiday. It had only been a few years earlier that I had been huffy and offended at the suggestion that may be I shouldn't be doing this. When we pulled out, a lot of people told me that maybe Halloween had pagan origins, but that was then and this is now and there's candy and your kids don't want to be left out and, really, how ridiculous can you be to take the "ugly" part so seriously. But I knew we were done for good.

I continued to study the Bible and nothing I learned in the following years made me think I had misjudged Halloween. But it wasn't until this year that I heard 3 separate teachings, at 3 different times, from 3 different sources that made it crystal clear to me just exactly WHY Halloween disgusts me so.

Teacher #1 said "Have you ever wondered why God put us here, on this place, on the earth, when he knew good and well that this is where the enemy is? Didn't He know what kind of trouble could come from that?" And I totally agreed! Why here, Lord? Well, the answer to that is that rebellion didn't start in the Garden of Eden. It started in heaven, with Lucifer and a third of the angels being cast down. The battle started before we got here. And we are the army that has been put here to fight the war.

Teacher #2 taught me that we have missed the deeper meaning of Genesis 2:15. "The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it." I don't know about you, but that has always sounded to me like the man was put there to be the gardener, to pick the roses and eat the fruit and...be there...and do stuff. Nothing earth shaking. But the words in Hebrew are powerful. The word that is translated "work it" is "avodah", which means "service" and "worship". Avodah--to serve God in worship, to worship God in service. The Garden of Eden was the worship center of the universe. And man was put there to worship. The Hebrew word that is translated "take care" is "shomer". Another powerful word. It means "guard". At the end of Chapter 3 when God banishes Adam and Eve from the Garden and the Cherubim with a flashing sword is posted there to "guard" the tree of life, it's the same word. (And the Cherubim are NOT pudgy little baby angels, either. Lucifer was a Cherub. But that's a whole 'nuther story). And God calls Himself the "guardian of Israel". Shomer. Not a small thing. Why would God give the instruction to guard the Garden unless there was something to guard it against? When Satan came to Eve in the Garden of Eden, he was sneaky and deceptive. He spoke to her and persuaded her to act on his words instead of believing God's words. And because she and Adam acted upon the lies of the enemy, they gave him their worship.

I've always thought that darn ole Adam and Eve, if they'd chosen better, could've saved us a lot of trouble. The truth is the matter is that each person's heart is the Garden of Eden. It is our center of worship. We are to worship God by obedient actions and guard our hearts. Everything we think, say or do either gives worship to God, or it doesn't. And if our worship doesn't go to God, guess who is getting it.

Teacher #3 also talked about worship. The whole point of our existance is worship. Everything the enemy throws at us is to for the purpose of getting our worship. The hard stuff that makes us abandon our faith, the gray areas that make us compromise, those niggling little thoughts of "Did God really say..." The only thing that makes the enemy feel like God is the worship of man. And he doesn't mind getting it through lies and deception.

Which brings me back to Halloween. It is the conviction of my heart that a holiday where we have to ignore the fact that it is celebrated by Satanists and Wiccans is not a holiday that gives worship to God. Even if there is candy.

There are several problems in putting it out there so bluntly. One is that we are not living in a time where we can actually say that some things are wrong. We tend to define "truth" in terms of "true for me". It's not very acceptable to say that someone's beliefs can be very sincere and still just be wrong. And the other thing is that we have not been very successful in raising a standard without condemning those who are not there yet. And that kind of judgment doesn't soften people's hearts. But I know that even when I got huffy and offended, the seed of truth was still planted in my heart by someone being willing to say, "Halloween is yucky". And I ended up being convicted by the power of God.

So I'm willing to say that Halloween is wrong. Not because I think so, because it doesn't matter one iota what I think. It's wrong because it doesn't line up with the word of God. It doesn't give worship to God. I don't condemn anyone who is still there. But I pray that the Lord will bring His light into that darkness, just as He did for me.

If I tell you, I'd have to kill you.

2008-04-01T22:51:00.002-05:00

That's a plagerized line from a movie (several movies, actually) but it pretty much covers everything I do. My job is one of the most intense, all-consuming things I have ever done in my life. And confidentiality is a huge issue. The first day on the job, I had to have a one-on-one training with a supervisor, which, in a nutshell, said "say nothing, anywhere, at any time, to anybody, about anything." There was a situation once where a teacher was at an outdoor carnival talking to someone about the details of what one of her students was doing. Someone overheard her, recognized the student, reported it, and the teacher got into a heap-o-trouble. So I can't get on here and say, "Oh, my gosh! The most hilarious-or-outlandish -or-unbelievable-- you-fill-in-the-blank-- thing happened today!" Can't say it, not nobody, not no how. (That's another movie quote, in case you were wondering. I'm still allowed to quote movies).

The other thing is, holy cow, the documentation. I have to keep records and reports on EVERYTHING I do. No, I mean it. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. So by the time, I could sit down and blog, even if I were allowed to tell what happened, I've already written it down 4 times and I'm sick of writing it down. I CAN say (well, maybe I can't, but I going to, anyway) that my job is, as I told several people last week, an endless source of surprises. Every week, someone says "oh, did we tell you that you're supposed to be doing________". Fill in the blank, generally with something very difficult or highly time consuming.

And yet. I still have that sense that this is no accident, no "lucky" break, no random fluke. It's "for such a time as this" that I'm here. And even in the midst of moments of sheer terror, I remember that and am so grateful.

Knock me over with a feather!!

2008-01-18T08:42:00.000-06:00

I got a call at school yesterday morning. The nice lady from the personnel office--to offer me the JOB I applied for back in December! I don't think I've ever been so flabbergasted in my whole life. After six weeks of hearing nothing, I had assumed that they had decided I wasn't what they were looking for. (I knew they hadn't filled the position with someone else, because the job is still listed on the district website.) She asked me if I needed time to think about it and I laughed out loud. Told her no, that I'd pretty much jump on it right this red hot second. The supervisor of the position and the principal of my current school will get together to decide when I can make the move. Holy cow, I am so excited and amazed (and terrified!)

Because I'm a teacher now, the teacher I've been working with took me with her to a staff meeting yesterday afternoon to discuss a situation with one of our students. I sat around a table with our school principal, the vice-principal, the counselor, the diagnostician, the head of our department, the student's previous teacher, his current teacher, the district head of department, the district psychologist and the speech therapist while they all brainstormed the best way to meet the needs of this boy. It was an incredible experience {also terrifying :-)} Part of me thinks I'm in way over my head, and the other part realizes that the teacher is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a team of educators behind every teacher who stands in front of a class. And now 35+ years after getting my diploma, I'm part of the effort. Wow. Thank you, Lord.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T20:04:00.000-06:00

I just have to start out the new year with a "Hey, ever'body!" It feels SO good to be done with 2007 (parts of it really stunk!) I'm believing 2008 to be WAY better :-)

Today was really sweet--Birthday party at CreamPuff's House for CP and Firecracker. And I started the first day of this Bible program. Someone very dear to me asked me to be accountable with her--we expect to have a wonderful encounter with the Lord.

Life is good, y'all! The year is off to a great start, fun things to do and to look forward to doing, love my job, enjoy my days off, and the new diet starts...tomorrow...or the day after that... ;-)

Hey, Girls! You won't believe this...

2007-12-07T19:15:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd just totally throw my daughters for a loop. They think I'm pretty predictable (probably because I am!) and I can guarantee you that the LAST thing in this world that they think I would do is take the Harry Potter personality quiz. So I did it---and I'm Harry Potter! Pretty hilarious, if you want to know the truth :-)

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

The reality is...

2007-12-02T13:54:00.000-06:00

...that the writing does not come quickly or easily and that I am so busy living my life, I don't have time to document it. So much has happened in the last few months that, as Inego Montoya says in "The Princess Bride"..."I just sum up".

I didn't get the job back in September, but they hired a wonderful teacher to come into our class. I have so enjoyed working with her, watching her style, picking her brains and getting more experience. The whole month of September I studied and studied and studied and in early October, I took the certification test for Special Ed. Had to wait a month for the results and was very pleased to find out that I passed. I figured I would need to finish out my year as an aide, but when I went to a workshop to learn how to write the TAKS-Alt tests, the teacher (who is the supervisor for Spec Ed for the entire district) told me in no uncertain terms that I should apply NOW. They have openings now and there is no competition for these positions. (And the aide positions are easier to fill, so they don't consider that a big deal.) So I scrambled around and got all my forms filled out and the letter of intent written and the resume updated and sent off and ...waited. Then I got an email saying that they DO want to talk to me! SO excited! That is big progress from last time. So I get to sit down next week with 3 Ph. D department heads/supervisors and strut my stuff :-) I'm so excited that it's a little hard to focus on anything else.

And as if that all by itself is not enough to totally absorb all my energy, attention, and time, I'm also studying for my Hebrew exam, getting settled in our new apartment and getting ready for the holidays.

So that's why I haven't written since September. (But this one's for you, Cathy!)

Thankful Thursday--on Friday

2007-09-21T06:42:00.001-05:00

I filled out the application for the opening in our classroom and put it in the L-rd's hands as to what would happen. And I found out very quickly. The Asst. Principle stopped me in the hall as I was leaving school yesterday afternoon and told me that they had pulled my file and looked at it and that I wasn't far enough along in the process of getting certified for them to consider me as a candidate for this particular job. I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed. But mostly that is because we could really use the money. As for the job itself, there's a lot to it and the learning curve would be all consuming. So I'm thankful that I can trust the L-rd to protect me from getting in over my head. Now I have a year to study and learn in this class before I take the plunge.

And I'm thankful to have a daughter who sees the humor in the small things of life. :-)

Turn in the Road

2007-09-05T20:56:00.000-05:00

The past two weeks, my life has not been cute little sound bites that make for quick, easy, funny (SHORT) posts. I have been through an intensive, week-long orientation to the building, the staff, and the procedures at my new school. That, in itself, was pretty tiring. There were two nights that week that I got in bed around 9:30 and slept all the way through the night til the alarm went off (very unusual for me!) Then the next week the kids came. And what an amazing, exhausting, exhilarating experience that has been!

I thought that this brand new job would be a totally new experience with a pretty big learning curve. In some ways it is. But, at its very most elemental, it is very similar to much of what I have done for the last two decades. (The biggest surprise to me is that virtually all of what we do is confidential--even to the point that we are not allowed to tell anyone, including the parents of the other students IN the class, who any of the students are. I can't even talk about them in public in case someone in the general vicinity might overhear and recognize who I'm discussing. So anything I share about the actual work will always have to be very vague and generic.)

Because this class has turned out to be much bigger than is reasonably manageable by one teacher, there has been talk from day one of adding another teacher for this bunch. Much to my surprise, I very much want the job! Since I'm already certified in another field, all I would have to do is take a test in this subject. I could even be given emergency certification and have a year to get all the requirements met. Two weeks ago, I would've sworn with my last breath that there was no way I'd be willing to put up with all the aggravation that comes with classroom teaching. And now, I'd jump through any hoop they hold up to get a chance to work with these kids. I totally trust the Lord to put the right person in our classroom.. So I'll be perfectly happy if they hire another teacher and I finish the year as the aide. And I'll be (extra!) perfectly happy if they, um, choose me. I've signed up to take the test next month so that either way, next year I'll be looking to hire in as the teacher. What an amazing development!

And that's just one unexpected turn in the road. There are others, but the time is not right yet for talking about them. There is a Chinese proverb that says, "May you live in interesting times." We do.

Liftoff

2007-08-17T09:55:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday was my last day of doing home daycare. Friday morning, on our 36th wedding anniversary, my sweet hubby and I got up bright and early and jumped on an airplane to South Carolina. We had big fun, shopping and fishing, and flew home Wednesday. I got up bright and early Thursday morning for an orientation day at my actual school and then spent the rest of the day unpacking and cleaning up our room. And then last night, Hubby asked what time I wanted to get this morning and I realized that THIS is the moment that my new life begins. I do NOT have to get up bright and early, because I don't have to go to work today. Anywhere. For any reason.

It's like that moment on the plane ride to and from SC. The plane is roaring down the runway and then there's that bump and you feel the instant you are airborne. You know for sure that you are not on the ground anymore; you are in a different dimension. Liftoff.

I'm going shopping.

Thankful Thursday

2007-08-16T06:30:00.000-05:00

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. I Chronicles 29:11

I am so thankful, not only to have had a wonderful time with our family in South Carolina, but to have been able to go to the beach early on Sunday morning. The guys fished and I just sat there near the water and had my quiet time. The sound of the waves and the breeze off the ocean were such powerful, yet gentle reminders of the awesome sovereignty of God.

And oh my! Thankful! Today is the first in-service day for my new job as a special ed bridging aide. I'll learn where everything is and what we're all about doing and meet some of the people I'll be working with. That old slogan "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" takes on new meaning right now. Such a BIG new beginning!

Wordless Wednesday

2007-08-15T22:14:00.000-05:00

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N in the summertime :-)

2007-08-11T14:28:00.000-05:00

Oh, my yes, here we are in balmy South Carolina, breathing in the salt sea air. (Well, not really, but I could if I were willing to go out into the nasty humid South Carolina heat--which I'm not). But we're here being lazy (guess who didn't get out of bed til 10:30) and just generally enjoying the whole vacation mindset.

Thursday was my very last day of daycare and even then, I left for 2 hours for a "meet-and-greet" with my principal which, delightfully, turned into an hour meeting with the teacher I'm going to be working with. I'm beginning to get a sense of what I'll be doing when school starts. And I know the names of some of my students, so now I can pray for them, individually, by name. I'm totally amazed at how my experiences all these years--4 years as a Girl Scout leader, 22 years of home daycare and all those years of childrearing--have prepared me for this job. I'm really getting excited!

And just to make this post worth looking at, here are the pictures I took the morning I left. I wanted to have something fresh to show Mom and Dad and, without thinking, I had emptied my camera the night before. So this was the best I could do for them, but it's not half bad, don't you think? :-)

So, KatieBug, email us some good pictures while I'm here so I can add them to Grandma's file.

Thankful Thursday

2007-08-09T22:28:00.000-05:00

I found this link the other day and just love the idea. I don't know whether it is supposed to be like a Thursday Thirteen, but tonight I'm pressed for time and I just have one big "thankful" on my mind right now.

I am SO thankful to live in a place and time where women are allowed to be educated. In other parts of the world, RIGHT NOW, that blessing is routinely denied to females. And in other eras, education for women was universally believed to be a waste of time.

I was the kind of kid who got in trouble at least once in every year of elementary school for bouncing up and down in my seat, frantically waving my hand to be called on and then blurting out the answer. I loved the process of learning.

And now, over forty years later, I'm so blessed to have the privilege of taking Hebrew classes. My teacher is a woman. Over half the students in the class are female. I don't yell out the answers anymore, but school is just as much fun as it ever was.

The authors of our textbook think it's fun, too. One of my homework assignments was to read aloud several sentences of Hebrew. I wish my computer had a font for the Hebrew letters so you could see what it looked like. And I wish you could have heard me stumble through this--sounding just exactly like a first grader who has to sound out every word. My lesson said,

"See Betty eat. Eat, Betty, eat. See Betty eat quiche. Eat quiche, Betty, eat quiche. See Bab eat Betty's quiche. See Betty beat Bab."

My husband and daughter were in hysterics as I read to them. And so was I. What fun!

TGIF

2007-08-07T17:48:00.000-05:00

Have you heard the story about the mama who always gave her little girl ice cream after lunch for dessert ? One day she checked the kitchen freezer, and the ice cream had all been eaten. So she was going to have to go down to the big freezer in the basement. But little Janie wanted her ice cream right away, like usual, and started banging her spoon on her high chair tray and screaming, "ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!" Mama said, "Be patient, Janie" and went downstairs. When she got back, Janie was stiff as a board in her high chair, eyes scrunched shut, cheeks puffed out, face all red, not breathing. Mama rushed to her side, dropping the ice cream carton on the floor, and began frantically trying to revive her daughter as she cried, "Janie, Janie, what's wrong!?" At that, the little girl opened her eyes, took a deep breath and explained, "I'm having patience."

Right now, I'm having me some patience. I have 2--count them--2 more days of doing daycare. (It was supposed to be 3, but it was out of my control that we got booked on a Friday morning flight out of here instead of an evening flight, like I asked for. But that is neither here nor there.) The hard part is not in working 2 more days. I have loved my job and the families that I'm working with are sweet people and I'm blessed that I will continue to have contact with them. The hard part is in not saying, "I ONLY HAVE TWO MORE DAYS!!" I have not done the countdown thing. I have not said I only have 8 more, 7 more, 6 more, 5 more...well you get the picture. I have not told a screaming toddler that I only have to listen to this nonsense for X MORE DAYS. I've stayed in the moment as much as is humanly possible. But people, I have 2 MORE DAYS left til I finish a job that I've been doing for 24 years. I'm almost done.

And Friday is looking really good to me.

It's not my agenda anymore

2007-08-06T13:14:00.000-05:00

When I made my 101 Goals in 1001 days, the first thing I put on my list (after making the list itself) is to read the Bible straight through, cover to cover. In my own special, hyperfocused, one-track minded way, I was thinking I would need to figure out how many chapters there are and how many days there are and how much I would have to read each day to get it done in the time allotted!

But a funny thing happened. I kept getting "bogged down." I'd be reading along, and a verse would grab my attention. And I'd just have to search out more about it. Read a commentary or look up the other verses with the interesting word or check out the Hebrew. And I'd be so busy doing something extra that I didn't have time to finish enough chapters. The next day, it would happen again. And yet again. I was not getting the job done!

It finally dawned on my rock brain that This was the point. Not to rush through the words, but to let the Spirit set the pace and the agenda. So even though "Read the Bible cover to cover" is still on my 1001 day list, how long it's really going to take is totally out of my hands.

This is what the Lord showed me a few days ago. I'm in Numbers right now, the 40 years in the wilderness book. I can remember reading these stories when I was a kid in Sunday School and VBS. And I can remember thinking what jerks the Israelites were. If I had seen God send the plagues to smite Egypt, if I had seen God part the Red Sea, if I had been promised the land flowing with milk and honey, well now, I would've been the bravest of the brave, the most faithful, the most trusting, the most believing. Honey, my bones would not be bleaching out in the desert, 'cause I would've been marching right alongside Joshua and Caleb to claim my inheritance. Can anybody relate?

I had similar misconceptions about the story of Balaam. Balaam asked God if he could go and get paid for cursing God's people. God had already said over and over and over that these people were His people and that whoever blessed His people would be blessed and whoever cursed His people would be cursed. So when Balaam asked for permission to curse them, God said no. Balaam asked again and this time, God said yes. So Balaam went and God was angry. Made no sense to me. That seemed to be one of those situations that cause people to say that the Bible contradicts itself. Why would God say yes and then get mad? What's up with that?!

And then I began to see exactly what's up with that. How many issues are there in my life and in the culture around me where the Lord has clearly stated over and over again what His standards are and yet I/we want to live as though He hasn't said a word about any of it. Please, Lord, Please Please Please! So He stands back and says, "Go ahead!" That's not permission and blessing. That's giving us enough rope to hang ourselves. When things go south, as they always will when we live in violation of his Word, then we're like Balaam. We say, "IF you displeased..." uh, we'll do something else? Much to my shock, there I am again. One of those clueless people. Wandering out in the wilderness with no idea how I got there.

What joy and comfort and security to know that I belong to the One who calls me back when I get off track. Who knows that my righteousness is as filthy rags--so He gives me His own. And what a pleasure it is to find this reassurance tucked into the stories of the people whose promises we are allowed to share.

Lovin' on my boys

2007-08-05T21:31:00.000-05:00

DH and I went over this afternoon to visit with the Bug family. When it got close to going home time, I read the kids a story. When we were done, the boys were playing right near me. I reached over and put my arms around Firecracker and started whispering in his ear, "I love you. I love you. I love you" I said it very quietly and slowly over and over. After about 15 repetitions, he grinned hugely and said, "I love you, too!" And we giggled for a minute while I kissed his neck.

Then I grabbed Bubby and started the same routine. "I love you, I love you, I love you" whispered against his check. He let it go for awhile, then he pulled away and with a pleasant look on his face but with a very serious, no-nonsense tone in his voice (like you would use on a 2 year old who had asked for ice cream one too many times), he said, "OK. That's enough."

KatieBug and I fell out, shrieking with laughter. Bubby was quite pleased to have been so funny, even though he wasn't exactly sure what he had done that was so hilarious. Somehow, though, I have a feeling that it'll be a cold day in a hot place before I get an "I love you, too" out of that boy.

How's it coming?

2007-08-02T21:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I know I'm supposed to be modest and let someone else say, "OH, this is nice!" But I spent all day picking a picture and getting it put in and I love that Scripture and I found several other cute things that I plan to add as soon as I can. (Being the queen of slow has its disadvantages.) So I'm pleased with my small beginning. And the Bible says we are not to despise small beginnings, so there you are.

I Want A New Look

2007-08-02T11:06:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of being boring. I've been reading a lot more blogs lately because of things the girls have linked to. And I want more focus...and some bling. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I'm open to finding out. It's interesting to read some of the blogs whose writers have a very clear focus in what their purpose is. I started out being vague and random and haven't wandered very far from my humble beginnings. I'm getting ready to move into a new season and lots of things in my life are changing. I think this blog should be one of them.

Let's just run her legs off :-)

2007-07-31T19:20:00.000-05:00

While Mama and Daddy have been partying in Vegas, we've been playing with the kids. And to keep little miss from bogging down in the pity party of "I miss my mama and daddy", we've kept her moving. Bike riding, running in the rain, an evening trip to Wendy's for a vanilla frosty. And today her GiGi came in from the farm and picked her and her cousins up for an afternoon at Planet Pizza. They were gone for over 4 hours and when she came home, the girl had--to quote me old mother--"cross marks for eyes". That is to say, really t.i.r.e.d. She asked to watch the movie I keep for her in our Tivo. I turned it on, left the room for a second and when I came back, she was stone cold unconscious on my bed. I figured, at that point, that my evening was up for grabs. This girl HATES to be waked up. So my choices looked like, wake her up before she slept too long and hope that she wouldn't cry too long and would then be willing to go back to sleep before midnight. Or let her sleep til she woke up and hope she didn't wake up at midnight ready to stay awake all night. Thankfully, her folks called early for the nightly iChat because they have dinner and a show. So I woke her up for mama and daddy and she was groggy but cooperative. Then she wanted her picture taken with her brother, so here they are. Aren't they just so fine. Hi again, Mom and Dad! See you tomorrow!

Hi, Mama & Daddy! Love, G & L

2007-07-30T07:34:00.000-05:00

Well, as you know, because you read my daughter's blog, she and Cletus are in Las Vegas right now on a much looked forward to, much needed (and oh, by the way, never had a honeymoon!) trip. Which means that DH and I have the kids to ourselves on the home front.

There was some concern that Gilly might have a bit of a hard time letting her parents go. (She told me quite firmly, one day last week, that mamas were not supposed to leave their little girls!) So I was all prepared to do the "sing and dance and aren't we having fun!" routine at the drop of a hat.

Yesterday afternoon, she wanted to go out in the backyard for a little while and noticed her bike sitting on the patio. So we left her papa at home to be with Baby Luke and she and I hit the sidewalks for a big bike ride. I was quite impressed with her endurance. Riding a bike uses different muscles than walking and she really had to work hard in the areas that went uphill a little bit. Every time we got to a corner where we could take the short way home, she said she wanted to ride more. So at every corner we took the long way.

I was watching it get darker and darker to the east of us, and then when we were about 2 blocks from home, the wind picked up and the temperature began to drop noticeably. Just as I opened my mouth to tell her that we'd better head home because we might get some rain, I felt a splat--about the size of a silver dollar--on my back. And the skies opened. I yelled at her to hold her feet away from the pedals, that we were going to make a run for it. She stuck her legs straight out and I hunch over this little tiny bicycle and we ran down the street, laughing like maniacs. And it rained like it can only in Texas, from nothing to cloudburst in just seconds. By the time we got home, which wasn't more than just a few minutes, we were both soaked to the skin. I had raindrops dripping off my eyelashes and mascara running down my face. But it was so much fun and the rain changed an ordinary bike ride into something we will both always remember.

And, oh that sweet baby, he went to bed about 10:00 and didn't wake up til 6:00. Gilly didn't go to bed til 11 and I didn't climb in til close to 12, but then we all got to sleep til morning. A GOOD first day! And we all woke up cheerful and rested.

So, have a good time in Vegas, Mama and Daddy! We love you and miss you, but we're doing just fine :-)

Bliss!

2007-07-21T21:29:00.000-05:00

I'm the happiest grandmother on the face of the planet. All of my grandkids (and there are 5 of them, and they are STINKIN' CUTE!) live close to us. Last night we went to spend the night with the 3 we don't live with, so that their mama could go out with friends. (Daddy works nights). We had such a great time with our sweeties. I fed them GF cookies and rice pudding for bedtime snack. And I asked CreamPuff, "Whatcha eatin' there, girlfriend?" So she showed me :-)

We spent the night because Mom and Dad were going to be home so very late. This morning, I was deeply. DEEPLY asleep and I felt little fingers poking me in the shoulder. With every ounce of energy in my sleep drugged body, I dragged my eyes open, and there was the grinning face of a grandson one quarter inch from each of my bloodshot eyeballs. And they said, "Grammie, it's time for you to get up now!" And God bless 'em, I love 'em so much that I didn't kill 'em. I just lay there and woke up slowly and then took pictures of them being goofy with their Papa C.

And in the afternoon there was a birthday party at a jumping place for a little boy who was so happy to be one year older. You wouldn't know it by the pictures I took, but there were about 30 kids there. I took pictures of my own kids and here they are.

Gilly really got into the jumping cage. Most of the pictures I got of here were in here.

I didn't get many picture of Birthday Bubby because he was having too much fun to stand still for dumb old photo shots. And Luke showed off a brand new skill--sitting by himself for the very first time.

CreamPuff and Daddy go down the big slide.

The whole shindig was SO MUCH FUN!!

Life loops

2007-07-03T14:39:00.001-05:00

Have you ever had one of those unexpected moments when you meet up with someone or go somewhere and realize that there is a major connection to your past? My dance team went to a multi-cultural extravaganza in Garland last weekend to contribute some really cool Israeli/Messianic dances. The streets were closed around where the festival was being held, so we parked a few blocks away and walked to the dance site. We came around the corner and walked straight into the building. There were pictures on the walls of the way the town square had looked back in the olden days and I realized HOLY COW! The civic center used to be the Plaza Theater! My mama walked me to this very theater when I was about 5 years old to see Walt Disney's Cinderella. Just the two of us. And she bought me a great big huge lollipop. It's the first movie I ever remember seeing. We walked forever to get there. (I googled it when I got home and found out that we lived 1.25 miles from the theater in those days, which is a pretty good hike for a little kid.) And on the corner of the square is where the Nicholson Memorial Library used to be. I so wanted to be able to do the time travel thing and BE there 50 years ago. And I so wanted to be able to call my mom on the phone and say, "Guess what just happened to me!" I can't do either one, but the delight of the moment stayed with me for the rest of the day.

Bookin' it

2007-06-25T21:02:00.000-05:00

I did something tonight that I haven't done in years. I went to the library to check out a big ole pile of new books. Going to the library is an activity that is part and parcel of the foundation of my childhood. My first library memory was walking for what seemed like hours to get to the Nicholson Memorial Library on the town square of Garland, Texas. I can remember how cool the tiles felt on my bare feet, after pounding the hot pavement. And the smell of that place is still inside my head. It was an old building and the books were old and, even at five, I could feel the sense of history and life that was contained there. We moved away when I was nine. I came back years later just to see it again and was heartbroken to find that it had been torn down.

We moved around quite a bit during my childhood and, everywhere we went, we always staked out the library. I've read from the Chicago library and the library in Falls Church, Virginia and bookmobiles in a variety of locations. (You want to talk about a memorable place! Stepping up into that dim, cool book-smelling cave out of a hot, bright parking lot was like leaving the real world for a little while to explore a parallel universe.) Our family hunted out second hand book stores and bought huge boxes of books at garage sales. But we always had library books checked out and due back in 2 weeks. (The greatest annoyance of my childhood, aside from the fact that I was not allowed to eat all the corn on the cob I wanted, was that there was a limit to the number of books you could check out of the children's department.)

When I grew up, I fell in love with a fellow reader. Although his tastes are wildly different from mine, we were in total agreement that having your own books was the way to go. We (mostly me, actually) developed the attitude early on in our marriage that a book worth reading was book worth owing. At one point we were member of 3 book clubs. Hardly a week went by without the delivery of a box of new books. And we kept them all. Even moving half way across the country--twice--didn't cause us to pare down our collection.

The one mile move from our house to our daughter's house, though, was a different story. They didn't have the room (or the inclination) to absorb the hundreds of books that we had acquired over the years. And we had to face the fact that we hadn't read some of our treasures in more than several decades, and it wasn't reasonable to keep them. So we sold and donated our way down to the ones we really loved and couldn't do without. And for the first time in over thirty years, I've gone six months without buying any books. I've had plenty to read here, but it's been an unusual period of adjustment to stop buying a book just because I wanted to read it.

I have given myself some new reading goals in my 101 list, so going to the library is once again the thing to do. As I wandered around the rows of books tonight, I was amazed by a number of things. One was how many of the books I had already read and another was how many books I hadn't. The biography section seemed surprisingly small and the range of subjects was almost funny. Lots of books about John Wayne and Shakespeare and Hitler. Some people I'd never heard of, some people that I'd heard of that didn't seem to warrant a mention. The whole experience felt new and old, all at the same time. I came home with a novel by Chaim Potok that I read years ago. I didn't really get it then, but I think I might understand it a little better now. I brought home a biography of Elizabeth Barrett Browning because I remember being so enchanted by The Barretts of Wimpole Street when I was in 7th grade English class. Three novellas by one of my favorite authors. A biography of C.S. Lewis because my grandchildren are currently enthralled by the Chronicles of Narnia. I haven't had such a huge stack of reading material since I was a little girl.

It's all due back in two weeks. And then I can check out another big pile, as many as I want.

school and babies

2007-06-14T08:56:00.000-05:00

GeeGee commented, about my last post, about how nice the days off and the holidays and the summer and the not-being-in-charge will be. And I'm not the least bit ashamed to tell the whole world that those were the exact reasons that I chased down a job at a school. I've spent 22 years working 10 hour days with no paid vacations and no benefits. The school schedule just totally fits what I want life to be. As I was praying about it, I came to the realization that I would be willing (except for lunchroom, because of the gluten) to do whatever was available. The first thing that came along was the position of special ed bridging aide in middle school. So that's what I am now.

The reactions to this announcement have been at the opposite end of the spectrum. Several people have looked at me with a look on their face that screams, "Are you CRAZY?" And one wonderful response was, "OH! You will LOVE it!" And that probably covers how I'm feeling about it. So excited...and a little nervous. But I think I would be a little nervous about any new job. I'm leaving a comfort zone of 22 years. So a few deep breaths are in order. The nice thing is, I feel like what I will be doing is work that really matters.

Interestingly, I have a sense that my plan to rock babies at the hospital is one of the most important things that will come out of this life change. I have an unshakable belief in the power of words. What you speak over a child helps to direct their destiny. To go and hold a child who may have been born to a crack-addict mother and pray love, blessing and protection over his or her life can, I believe, change the course of that life. I want to promise them that Jesus loves them and has plans to prosper them and not to harm them, plans to give them a hope and a future. I want to tell them that He sent me to tell them that and that He will continue to send people into their lives to help them. They will not remember me. But I know that the Lord's blessing in their lives is not dependent on that.

So, hurry summer and be over quickly. I've got things to do.

Goal No. 95--CHECK!

2007-06-13T15:39:00.000-05:00

I didn't list my goals in order of importance and number 95 is a biggie. Life changing, as a matter of fact.

I've been doing daycare for 22 of the last 24 years of my life. I started when ksl had just turned 2. A neighborhood schoolteacher was looking for part-time care for her almost 2 year old little boy. We hooked up and that, as they say, was that. Even though there were times when I desperately wanted out, wanted just to take care of my two little girls, doing daycare was a necessary part of keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table. After they were grown, I stayed with it because it pays well and it was easy to just keep on keepin' on.

A couple of years ago, I talked to a friend who had started working at a school. She had been a stay at home mom for a decade and a half and she got a job because her husband was out of work and they needed health insurance. And it got me to thinking. If I had a school job...I could go on the spring break mission trips. I could go to the training at the county hospital and be a volunteer to rock the indigent babies in the nursery. I could have the summers off!

I filled out an online application last month. I went to the Job Fair screening interview last week. I got the call last night. They offered me a job. OH MY. I have a school job. It doesn't pay much, but I don't care. I don't need much. And the trade-off is so huge.

Now, instead of saying, "if", I'm saying, "I'm gonna!" Go on the mission trip to Colorado next spring, rock those babies and tell them Jesus loves them, help with Camp Elijah...

And, oh yeah, I'm going shopping for school clothes, too.

Happy Birthday, Cute Boy!

2007-06-10T15:46:00.000-05:00

We had our first date exactly 2 months before his 22nd birthday. We got married exactly 2 months after his 23rd birthday. We thought we were such grownups. Looking back, we both looked like cradle robbers. But Browning got it right when he said, "Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made: Our times are in His hand Who saith 'A whole I planned, Youth shows but half; trust God, see all, nor be afraid!'"

We talked this morning on the way to the worship service about the fact that it seems strange not to be young anymore. We used to feel strong and invincible. Now, most of the time, something on one or the other of us hurts. Everything is slower and weaker and grayer and wrinklier. But the journey from starry eyed youth to middle age to...what comes next is a sweeter trip when you have a companion who has been with you all the way. Our collective youth is in one shared heart. He still thinks I'm cute; I still think he's handsome.

So Happy Birthday to the love of my life, this year and for many more to come!

...and then there was MORE dancing...

2007-06-02T23:50:00.000-05:00

I should have put something about dancing myself into a coma on my 101 list. Because once a month I do that. I did it tonight. Went to worship service this morning. We had practice for about 30 minutes before the service. Then we danced during the service for about 20 minutes. Then we have dance lessons in the afternoon for people who want to learn how to do it--2 hours long and after the lessons are over, the dance team practices Israeli dances just for fun--another half hour or so. Then in the evening, we have a fellowship called Chaverah--covered dish dinner followed by---did you guess? More dancing. Almost 2 more hours. When it was time to go home, I nearly had to crawl to the car on my hands and knees. I wish I'd had Kelli's pedometer on today. I feel like I logged about 26,951 steps--give or take a dance. Next month I'll have to borrow hers (or buy my own) to see how it adds up. Dance--it does a body good.

101 things in 1001 Days

2007-05-27T13:50:00.000-05:00

I haven't seen much of this lately, but it was going around all over in January. I made my list and then did my disappearing act. When I came out of hibernation, I went back and found my list. I had to tweak it a little, but here it is now in all its glory. I'm just posting it to have some accountability. Once you say out loud that you are going to do something, there is always someone coming along later asking if you did it. And it would be real nice if I broke my pattern of putting things off until the last minute. I don't want to have to pull an allnighter to do the last 98 things on my list. (I just read where Kelli posted her list--I'm sure she must have been inspired by the magnificence of my progress!!) And She had the rules--so I shamelessly copied them from her blog and pasted them in here.

Here are the rules as stated from triplux:

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.

2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.

3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.

4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.

5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

101 Goals in 1001 Days

THE LIST
1. ~~Compile the “101 in 1001” list~~

BIBLE
2. Read the entire Bible, cover to cover (I'm up to Numbers)
3. Read through Psalms in one month, w/o missing a day (make-ups don't count)
4. Read through Proverbs in one month, w/o missing a day (make-ups don't count)
5. Memorize at least one song off of every DVD of Scripture Memory Songs
6. Listen to 10 sets of Joel Young teaching tapes (0/10)
7. Sign up for the Adult B’Nei Mitzvah program
8. ~~Take the “Prayers and Blessings” class~~
9. Write a paper on Jamie Cowen’s History class
10. Take Biblical Hebrew 1
11. Take Biblical Hebrew 2
12. Write a paper on Biblical Hebrew studies
13. Memorize Proverbs 31:10-31
14. Take at least 3 more Yeshiva classes at BHS (0/3)
15. Learn to cant
16. Make aliyah to the Torah

MOVING
17. Finish moving out of the old house
18. Finish unpacking at the new house
19. ~~Get the old house repaired~~
20. ~~Get the old house sold~~ Actually, we rented it out, but that's just as good

HUBBY
21. Give CG 10 oil-massage back rubs
22. Rub CG’s shoulders every day
23. Learn to close the cabinet doors after I open them (because it drives him crazy)
24. Plan a surprise evening for CG
25. Another special project for the love of my life

FAMILY/FRIENDS
26. Go to the zoo, collectively or individually, with all the grandkids
27. Take each of the grandkids, individually, for the day to do something special
28. Block out a weekend to go see Mark/Lucy
29. Send out Holiday cards with a newsletter
30. Get in touch with my ex-college-roommate who is so good about writing me every Christmas
31. Plan another complete family vacation
32. ~~Spend the weekend with the children of Daughter#1 so she and her husband can get away~~ (they went to Vegas for 4 days!)
33. ~~Spend the weekend with the children of Daughter#2 so she and her husband can get away~~ (they went to Houston for a wedding)
34. Something special

HEALTH
35. Develop the daily discipline of drinking 8 glasses of water
36. Eat no sugar for one week every other month. (0/6)
37. Get my hair highlighted (not “healthy” but definitely a stretch!)
38. Get a massage~~twice (0/2)
39. ~~Use my Central Market gift certificate~~ YUM!
40. Eat 5 servings of fruits/veggies every day for one month (for the purpose of developing the ongoing habit)
41. Take a complete day off—no work, no errands, no responsibilities (0/3)

ORGANIZATION/CLEANING
42. Do a closet purge
43. Get the “rogue’s gallery” hung in our bedroom
44. Clean out the car and keep it clean for a month

COOKING
45. Learn to make a decent loaf of GF Challah
46. Develop 10 weeks of menus, including grocery lists, for doing recycle menus
47. Do a session of Once-A-Month-Cooking
48. Go through my stack of printed out, never tried recipes. Try one a week to either save or throw away (0/10)
49. Make a GF cheesecake

GARDENING
50. Plant and maintain a container garden: Tomatoes
51. Plant and maintain an herb garden

BOOKS
52. Read 10 classic books that I’ve never read before (0/10)
53. Read 10 biographies that I’ve never read before (1/10)
1. The Narnian: The Life and Imagination of C.S. Lewis

MOVIES
54. Sit and watch a movie with CG w/o squirming or multi-tasking (0/10)

TRAVEL/SIGHTSEEING/ACTIVITIES
55. Get my passport
56. Go to Six Flags with grandkids
57. Go to St. Louis to visit the family
58. Take a 3 or 4 day get-away weekend, just the two of us (likely to the GF Bed & Breakfast in San Antonio)
59. Take a tour of City Park (not necessarily at Christmas)
60. Save $1000 toward our trip to Israel
61. Visit the aquarium at West End
62. Visit a state I haven’t been to (I had 31 when I was 9 and haven’t added one since then)
63. Spend a whole day at the Canton flea market
64. Spend a whole day at the McKinney flea market
65. Hang the hammock out at the land and spend the afternoon in it

SCRAPBOOK/MEMORY STUFF
66. Finish Katie’s graduation scrapbook
67. Scrapbook the Colorado vacation pictures
68. Scrapbook the Arkansas vacation pictures
69. Do one double-spread page per month in a scrapbook for us (0/20)
70. Start a scrapbook for Kelli
71. Get 10 double-spread pages done in Kelli’s book
72. Get 10 more double-spread pages done for Kelli
73. Sort through old family pictures
74. Get our 8mm movies converted to DVD
75. Make a special project, using the stamping stuff I have

CRAFTS/SEWING
76. Finish quilt top
77. Finish cross-stitch project
78. Make Gillian a plaid nightgown like her mother’s
79. Finish tapestry fabric vest
80. Finish pink/white flannel nightgown
81. Repair the beading on the red top I bought in Missouri
82. Mend the rip in my red tiered skirt
83. Alter my two denim vests myself (instead of sending them out)
84. Make a piece of bead jewelry
85. Get 3 pairs of jeans that really fit (0/3)

WRITING
86. Finalize the stories for the One-a-Day book
87. Write out 20 of the stories for the One-a Day book
88. Write out 20 more stories
89. Finish the “Grandmother’s Memories” book that Gillian gave me for Christmas several years ago
90. Blog at least once a week (I’ll check this off when I’ve done it 20x)

MINISTRY
91. Attend the orientation to qualify to rock babies in the nursery at Parkland Hospital
92. Get set up to go to Parkland once a month to rock babies
93. Mission trip to Hooper to work with Bill/Lisa
94. Mission trip to another place

WORK
95. ~~Get a job in a school district~~

FINANCES
96. Pay off 4 credit cards and close the accounts (0/4)

MISC

97. Get my mother’s watch resized to fit me
98. Donate blood
99. Get a penny whistle and learn to play two songs

FINALE--Sunday, February 21, 2010
100. Do something major to celebrate the completion of my list

Make another list for the next 1001 days

...and then there was dancing...

2007-05-25T22:33:00.000-05:00

On the grand highway of life, DH and I found an unexpected detour about 10 years ago when we went with some friends to a worship service at a Messianic congregation. (I fell in love instantly. It took DH a lot longer to get on board, but he did finally come around.) Our getting involved in this lifestyle has been a real gear-stripping experience for our extended family. I have frequently made the mistake of sharing what I'm learning with a little too much gusto, which has caused some folks to stick their fingers in their ears and sing, "LA LA LA!" at the top of their voices.

One of the things I love. Love. LOVE. about Messianic worship is the dancing. Worshiping the Lord with movement just reaches into the deepest part of my soul. And it's fun. And for someone who works at long hours at home and doesn't get out much, it's also really good exercise. I've started putting on some of the praise music in the playroom and dancing with the kids. They love it and it uses up some of their very high levels of manic energy.

Kelli and I both are trying to be more healthy and one of the things she read about recently was making sure you take 10,000 steps in the course of your day. She got out a pedometer that she had and started wearing it. She wasn't logging enough steps so.....she started coming in for the dancing. I've known for awhile that she was actually paying attention, but neither of us had said a word about her hidden interest. This week she started dancing with us. A few days ago, she asked about some of the steps. And tonight, oh the wonder of it all! She and Gilly and I went into the playroom and just danced and danced for the glorious fun of it.

After we'd danced for about half an hour, Kelli started laughing. "You're just about to explode, aren't you. You just want so bad to say, 'Ha, Ha, I got you!!' " (And I did want to say, "Holy cow! Isn't this great! Don't you just love it!")

But see how much I've learned. I make no loud noises or sudden movements, no big "HA HA" so no one is scared away. And we just keep dancing, 3 generations of dancers. And it is so good.

another reason I was too busy to blog...

2007-05-22T18:51:00.000-05:00

I borrowed my husband's cell phone last night to call my brother. Mine wasn't charged up enough and his was and he's really nice about letting me use his phone whenever I need to, despite the fact that he knows for sure that I can't be trusted with it.

By the time I finished my conversation, he'd gone to sleep. So when I came to bed, he wasn't awake to say, "Could I have my phone back, please?" (And he would have been sweet enough not to add, "before you lose it like you usually do!")

So when we woke up this morning and got ready for work, he picked up his EMPTY phone holster and asked the reasonable question, "Where's my phone?" Well, no problem! I have this system down pat. I don't even waste my time looking. I just find my cell phone and call his cell phone. Sometimes I can't find either cell phone and I have to use the land line to call them both, but that wasn't necessary this morning because my phone was on the charger. (Remember? I had to borrow his because mine had no energy...)

So I called and...we can't hear it. So I call again and it goes straight to the voice mail. So I find the house phone and call again. No ring. He goes in the bedroom, I go in the kitchen so we can hear. I call again. No ring. He has to go to work. I give him my phone with promises to look all day and relay all his messages. And I pray.

I say, "Lord, you must be tired of this prayer, 'cause you've heard it so many times. But, uh, I can't find DH's phone. Please help me remember where I put it." And I keep looking. I've already looked in the freezer. I look again. I sort through the laundry that was sitting on my bed. I check the carry-all I use to schlep my stuff to the shower. And then I check the frig. In the butter compartment in the door. Where I put the phone. When I went to put the milk away and needed two hands so I stuck the phone there out of my way.

And that's why I haven't blogged in 4 months.

Not really lying, just really wrong...

2007-05-22T18:23:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I thought I was going to start over back there in January when I said I was going to start over...back there in January... And oops, I didn't. It was not a deliberate effort to mislead. I just didn't follow through. (I'd be lying if I said that isn't an issue in other areas of my life!) But in the last few weeks, I've had two people who are not related to me! tell me that I need to get off my duff and post again. Well, heck yeah! That's twice as many people as I thought were reading my ramblings. I have a public! So here I am. Active again.

I'm going to dig out my now 5 month old list and see how much progress I've made. BWAHAHAHAH! Haven't looked at it since I finished it so I've even forgotten what I said I was going to do. The things I do remember, like grow a tomato and sell my house, haven't happened. Hopefully, the house selling thing will happen soon. The tomato growing thing is probably a next year thing...or the year after that. ( After all, I have 1001 days! And I'm going to reset the starting date since I've already used up 150 of my days doing diddly squat.)

On to other things...speaking of granddaughters...oh, mine are quite fine. If you haven't read about Miss Creampuff's new state of being, you need to check this out . Hilarious...and very scary :-)

And Miss G is also in a new stage of life. I walked behind her as we shopped at Target last night and saw very clearly that she is not a soft, tender, pink little girly any more. She is a preschooler with skinned knees and long, lanky bug-bit legs and scruffy hair and...um...opinions. Lots of opinions. Reminds me somewhat of Ramona Quimby (who I like very much, so the comparison is not insulting.) It's just amazing to me that a human being can go from that fresh pink baby stage to the scruffy child stage so quickly. Luke is still a fresh pink baby. I have a feeling that won't last nearly as long as we would like.

It's just like starting over

2007-01-05T22:25:00.000-06:00

It has been so long since I have posted that I might as well being starting over, in blogging and in real life. I live and work in a different place and we have made so many changes in our lives that we are almost unrecognizable. But we really like it! We've moved out of our house into our daughter's house~~our one bedroom is like a teeny, tiny efficiency apartment. We have given IKEA a lot of our money and have four cute tall skinny bookshelves to store our stuff, because there is no room for a dresser. Lots of storage containers in which to put our socks and underwear and jeans and T-shirts on account of we have one teeny, tiny closet (which I've pretty much laid claim to--because I'm the girl, ya know?)

And I'm doing day care at Kelli's house. And you know what? I'm not in charge. Can't TELL you how much I like that I'm not in charge. I like that a LOT! Her food program, her playroom, her kitchen, mmm-hmm. Very nice.

And I just spent 3 days compiling one of those "101 in 1001" list of goals. I'll post that tomorrow. Making the list was really fun; doing the list should be even more fun.

Making Adjustments

2006-10-13T15:34:00.000-05:00

We tried to have a garage sale last month to scale down in preparation for moving and getting lean, clean and mobile. But we got rained out. Now, when you're living in drought conditions, you'd have to be a pretty narrow minded person to complain about one day of rain--even when it messes up your plans. And I am not a narrow minded person so I didn't complain. Heck, I didn't even feel like complaining, on account of I'm so good :-) But we have another garage sale schedule for next Friday and the 10 day weather report says--guess what! Yep, more rain. Again, I'm not complaining, 'cause we do still need the rain. However, 10 days notice gives me enough of a head start to be very resourceful. So garage sale is off the table and now...we're having an estate sale. Ha, ha! Estate sales are indoors and there is a whole different level of expectation for an estate sale vs. a garage sale. And we have sooooo much stuff that we can totally go there. Furniture, dishes, toys, clothes, sheets, towels, and with kep kicking in enough stuff to clear the spaces at her house...well... let it pour! We'll be inside, converting trash to cash--at our estate sale!

I Nominate My Own Self

2006-10-03T16:36:00.000-05:00

Another Cool Meme. Really, I only do this sort of thing to entertain my daughters. They already know me and so the object is only to answer the questions in a way that will make them laugh. The rest of the blogging world is oblivious to my contributions.

Learn 50 things about your friends, and let them learn 50 things about you!

1. How tall are you barefoot? I maxed out at 5' 4 3/4" when I was in high school and have shrunk down to 5' 4 1/2". Until 3 months ago when I applied for a new life insurance policy and the agent told me to stand up as tall as I possibly could for the medical exam so that I could get a better height/weight ratio. So now...ahem...I am 5' 5" (with an eyeroll from the nurse).

2. Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship? Over 35 years ago I started dating my DH while I was dating Machoboy (see post on September 15). But since we (MB and I)had no "understanding" about a relationship, I don't think it was cheating. That's it.

3. Do you own a gun? The answer that people who know me would expect would be "no", but we actually own several. We have land in the country and like to target shot.

4. Have you had a mental disorder? Aside from beating the daylights out of my terrified husband because he ate an avocado that I had plans for, I've lead a very respectable emotional life. Yes, I used my fists, but I was 9 1/2 months pregnant and I really wanted that avocado.

5. Why is a raven like a writing desk? I'm thinkin' it's the feathers.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Considering the fact that they're made from leftovers of the Very.Worst.Kind, you'd do better to eat squid lips.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? These days, I'm kind of a Hanukkah girl, but I still LOVE my old bell choir's arrangement of "Ding, Dong, Merrily on High".

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I make myself drink water, but then I end up with decaf green tea with half and half and vanilla syrup? Yum :-)

9. Do you do push-ups? I did some in high school. I think that is sufficient.

10. Have you ever done ecstasy? No.

11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I have my sweet hubby, who is also my boyfriend. This was "kelli in the mirror"s answer, but it cannot be improved upon.

12. Do you like the rain? Very much. Once you have actually lived through a drought that resulted in water rationing (as in sharing a tee-tee flush), you NEVER complain about rain. Not even if it ruins your garage sale.

13. Are you sweet? Why yes, I am, thank you very much!

14. Do you have A.D.D.? I have been told that having every cabinet door in your kitchen open all the time (even when your family members go around behind you closing them!) is proof of Adult A.D.D. In which case, I've been tried and found Guilty.

15. Full initials? KBKS

16. Do you like the snow? Oh, yes! Particularly after I found out that being dressed in the right kind of winter gear means you actually can stay warm and dry. (Snow in Texas back when I was a kid meant tennis shoes with bread bags over them, a sure way to end up with popsicle toes.)

17. Name 4 thoughts at this exact moment. Wondering what time hubby will be home. Wondering what I can make for dinner out of the chicken broth I boiled all day. Wondering if I can make it one more day on the almost empty can of baby formula. (I can't). Trying to decide whether or not to keep the shirt I just ordered in the mail, 'cause it doesn't fit as nicely as I hoped it would.

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought in the past week: $24 worth of salad fixings to take to a covered dish dinner; 2 Hershey bars (No, I didn't eat them both at the same time. I ate one whole one and three quarters of the other before I went to bed and then finished up the last quarter as soon as I woke up--after I drank my water, of course.)

19. Have you ever been arrested? No.

20. What time did you wake up today? About 3:00am. My husband woke me up when he came to bed really late (because he had a nap yesterday afternoon). I couldn't get back to sleep and then the alarm went off at 5:15. And yes, I was snarly and then had to apologize.

21. Can you spell? Sure can!

23. Current hate? Nothing comes to mind. I'll get back to you if I think of something.

24. Favorite place to be? Someplace cool. I like cool. If I get too warm, I have one of those annoying mid-life "power surges"--which you can now use as the answer to #23. Really hate those power surges.

25. Least favorite place to be? Someplace that makes me sweaty.

26. Where would you like to go? Israel. I've wanted to go there for a long time, but now it will eventually happen because my DH said to start a fund for the trip. (I've got $40 saved up at this point, so I'm thinking I don't need to start packing yet.)

27. Do you own slippers? Yes. But I might as well get rid of them, because not only do they make me too hot (see Questions 23, 24, and 25 on why that is a bad thing), but I also want to wear my Reeboks if I'm going to be standing around--even if it's to make breakfast. I look cute in a nightgown and sneakers.

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? Living a very happy, healthy, debt-free life, waiting for Jesus to come back (very soon).

29. Do you burn or tan? I burn unmercifully. And it doesn't turn into tan. It peels off and stays white underneath. (I want my dad's skin. But my sister got it.) Again, this is "kelli in the mirror"s response. Her sister got the tanning skin from their dad. She got the burning skin from Moi.

30. Yellow or blue? Blue. Always. There is no bad time or place to choose blue over every other color.

31. Would you be a pirate? Nah, I'd be hanging over the side of the ship, barfing into the ocean.

32. When was the last time your phone rang? About an hour ago. A daughter with a question.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower? I have a boom box in the bathroom and it has had the same CD in it for over two years. I play it every morning. I love the songs and I tell time by them. If I'm in a hurry, I have to be out by the time the first song is over. If it's a regular morning, I can shower for two songs. And if it's the weekend, I luxuriate with 5 songs. The CD is Yeshua by Steve McConnell.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? I just had a general sense of unease about things that go bump in the night.

35. What's in your pockets right now? Denim capris with no pockets.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? I don't recall, but I make a point of laughing as hard as I can every chance I get. I read that laughing boosts your immune system for 3 days and I try to be very kind to my immune system (because I feed it too much chocolate).

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Back in those days, sheets came in white. Everyone in our family slept on white sheets.

38. Worst injury you've ever had? I fell off the monkey bars when I was six years old and broke both the bones in my left forearm. One was a green stick break (picture snapping a green stick in half--one side splinters and the other side just bends). The whole thing had to be set by an orthopedic surgeon.

39. Have you ever crashed a car/truck? No

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two. Living room and playroom.

41. Would you ever buy an iguana? Ick, not into reptiles

42. Are you attracted to your same sex? No

44. Do you wish on stars? No.

45. What is your favorite book? That's a little like asking which is your favorite child (and they know the answer to that!) I just read and reread. and read again.

46. What song did you last hear? Some little ditty off the Baby Song DVD

47. Do you think Mormons are hot? This question doesn't even make sense.

48. What is your favorite cereal? Cereal is pretty much off the radar screen these days. All glutened. I do miss my delicious homemade granola.

49. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping, and assuming that my silly husband would be coming to bed at some point.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Bad day to ask that question. Usually, my first thought is "Good morning, sweetie!" We've already determined that I was not my cheerful self this morning.

Well, look at me, finished in less than a week. You know, of course, that that means we have no dinner. But I can't do everything!

Do You Run?

2006-09-21T08:14:00.000-05:00

I was raised in a mainline denominational church. We were one of the ones that allowed music (opening hymn, hymn in the middle, the Gloria Patri after collecting the offering, and the hymn after the sermon--right before the altar call). I still love the old hymns. But when I went off to college, I left "church" behind. It wasn't til I married and we had our first sweet baby that the stirrings of hunger for God came back into my life. After all, we were responsible for the spiritual life of this little person. It was almost five years before we acted on that hunger, but when we went back to church, something was different. I wanted more than the 3 hymn Sunday morning experience. I didn't know what it was, but there had to be something more.

We had been back in church for about 3 months (same mainline denomination; different city) when a new family moved into the area and joined the church. Our five year old DD and their six year old DD became instant best friends (and still are!) and the mom and I became best friends, too (and still are!) When she started a Tuesday morning women's Bible study, I jumped at the opportunity. And together we went to seminars and prayer meetings and crafting clubs--anywhere that women of faith were gathering.

I began to notice that at least part of the "something" I was looking for was in the way the women at these meetings worshipped. They raised their hands, they wept, they knelt or laid face down on the floor as the Spirit moved them. Let me tell you, we did NOT do that sort of thing in my mainline denomination church! My parents referred to that kind of people as "Holy Rollers". It was not a complimentary statement. At our church, your hands were only high enough to hold the hymnal in front of your face. Nobody evah cried!

One night at a prayer meeting, a women went around the room and prayed for each person there. She had a word from the Lord for me--that He was going to set me free to worship Him the way I wanted to. Wow. It didn't happen quickly. First, I realized that I couldn't stand still when the praise music started; I had to sway back and forth. Then I raised my hand! True, it only went as high as my waist but it was a beginning. Then up to my shoulder, then oh my goodness, all the way up over my head! I took a sign language class and that new skill gave me "permission" to praise Him with my hands during the entire worship service. Then came handbells. And now worship dance with the Messianic community. Every cell in my body loves to be involved in worshipping the God of the Universe, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God who redeemed us with the precious blood of His Son.

There is a scene in the movie Chariots of Fire, where one of the main characters, Eric Liddell, is reassuring his sister that he has not been sidetracked from God's call on his life to go to China as a missionary. He will go, but first he has to train for and compete in the Olympics (0f 1924). In that wonderful Scottish accent he tells her, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure."

Doesn't that statement just melt your heart? Are you running? I'm not talking about the crazy rat-race-not-enough-hours-in-the-day-to-get-it-all-done kind of running. I mean the flowing-in-your-destiny-who-He-created-you-to-be kind of running. The kind that gives Him pleasure. Let's run that one as fast as we can.

Tagged!

2006-09-19T18:43:00.000-05:00

kep tagged me for this one. Short and sweet!

1. Are you craving anything and if so, what? Not really craving at this point, but I wouldn't mind a trip to Chick-Fila.

2. What is the weather outside and do you wish it would change? The weather outside has finally changed to something nearer to what I like. I wouldn't wish Texas summers on a dog--every year I just grit my teeth and wait it out. The heat wave has broken for this year. Hurray!!

3.What two websites do you think you will go to next after you are finished here? I don't have many links so I usually run through kep's or ksl's links.

4. Do you wish you were somewhere else, and if so, where? This time of year, I always want to be in New England. Only to visit, though. Where I live right now is the center of my universe.

5. Do you wish you were someone else, and if so, whom? It's been a really long time since I thought about wanting to be someone else. Right now, I'm too busy trying to be the best "me" that I can be. (Wouldn't mind having someone else's clothes, though!)

Wasn't that fun? Only 4 people know me on line and one of them tagged me. So, just jump in, all the rest of you. This one is easy.

Oh, by the way...

2006-09-15T15:14:00.000-05:00

Wow! My 4th post this week. My two readers are going to go into blog-shock! Just wanted to mention that there is a contest at Bluebird Blogs for 2 people to win a free web design. Please don't enter. I don't care who you are, you know more about doing something with your blog than I do. I want to win the fancy design. But go look--they're really cool.

How Did You Meet Your Honey?

2006-09-15T10:27:00.000-05:00

Oh, sweet! I ran into this topic when I linked from Rocks in my Dryer to A Chelsea Morning.

DH and I have been married for decades, so I haven't gotten to tell this story in a very long time. But it's a fun story! ~~(Although I guess it would be reasonable to say that everyone thinks the story of how they met their honey is a wonderful story.) And this is long; you may want to go get a snack.

We were in college. It was my sophomore year. I had been in one of those stormy, up-and-down traumatic relationships since September with an outdoorsy, macho guy. Who, the first time he told me he "loved" me, then clarified by saying, "after my horse, my truck and my way-of-life". (I am not making this up.)

Fast forward to April and Dr Nichols' "History of the New South" class. Monday. Tiny room, lots of people, chairs squished real close together. My third class in a row. Tired of sitting. I cross and uncross and cross my legs trying to get comfortable. Then I swing my leg too wide and kick the guy in front of me right square in the bum. I lift him out of his chair. He screams. Really. Every head in the room turns, including the professor who stops talking to see what in the world is going on in the back of his tiny classroom. Red-faced, I mumble an apology. With a huge grin, the cute guy tells me sternly, "Don't kick me! I'm goosy!" Everyone roars with laughter. When class dismisses, I watch him leave the room with my footprint clearly visible on his white jeans.

Tuesday when I go to my geology lecture class, who do I see in the back of the room but the cute guy! He grins and waves me up to sit by him. I hear nothing that the professor says the entire hour because the cute guy is drawing pictures of little moon men all over my notebook.

Wednesday, back to History class. As I squeeze into the very tiny space behind the cute guy, he turns and tells me, "I would've call you last night, but I don't know your name or your phone number." I'm cool and nonchalant and nearly fall out of my chair into his lap telling him who I am and what my number is. Then, right there, he asks me out for Friday night.

In 2 1/2 seconds, what flashes through my mind is that Machoboy and I might already have plans. As in, if he doesn't go hunting over the weekend, we'll go out. I decide to take the chance and say very sweetly, "Love to!"

Thursday, Machoboy calls. He's decided not to go hunting. What would I like to do on Friday night? Uh....uh....I have plans. Long silence. He wants to know, do I have a date?! Now, my long silence. Yes, I do. Break it, he says. No, says I. We have a BIG fight.

Friday, I don't get out of bed. I skip all my classes and lay quivering under the covers like a big weenie. Late in the afternoon, my suitemate drags me out of bed. She brings me chicken noodle soup and tells me I have to go out with Cute Guy. She's been hanging out all year with a bunch of his friends and he's a really nice guy and I will be eternally sorry if I don't go out with him. So I eat my soup and get dressed and try to calm the butterflies in my stomach.

Then the girl down the hall, whose boyfriend lives down the hall from Machoboy, comes running in to tell me that her boyfriend has been talking to MB. He's not mad, he's just so hurt. He thought we "loved" each other, how could I be so heartless. I run straight to the bathroom and throw up my chicken noodle soup.

Now I'm really a mess. How can I go out if I'm throwing up? My suitemate tells me, just don't eat! You already have an empty stomach so there shouldn't be a problem. We fall down laughing. And I go.

Six months later , Cute Guy and I are engaged. 10 months after that, we are married. Several years later , I tell him about what happened the week of our first date. And I asked him, "If I had broken our date, would you have asked me out again?" His reply, "Absolutely not. I was going through a bad time with one girl after another just jerking me around. If you'd bailed on me that night, I would've spent the evening getting drunk, and you never would've heard from me again."

Oh my goodness. I didn't know the Lord then and neither did my suitemate, but I'm so thankful that He used her to shove me out the door. And into the love of a lifetime.

Thursday Thirteen

2006-09-14T16:00:00.000-05:00

THIRTEEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THIS SEASON OF LIFE

1. Being Married--actually I have loved being married for 35 years, but this season is just so sweet. We've successfully raised two lovely daughters (all glory to God who redeemed all our mistakes!!!) and now we can just relax, enjoy each other's company and share life. Browning was right! "Come, grow old with me; the best is yet to be".

2. Grandparenting--one of the reward's of growing older, the grandkids are DA BOMB!

3. Dancing--I've always like to dance, but in our Messianic congregation, we worship in dance. It is so awesome!

4. Hebrew school--I loved school when I was a kid, and now I am loving learning how to read and write in Hebrew. I'm excited about being able to read the Bible in the original language.

5. The Internet--before the Web, whenever you wanted to know something, you had to go to the library and check out a big ole pile of books to find what you were looking for. Now, the world is at your fingertips!

6. DVDs--we were the last people in America (according to our children) to get a VCR. And I would've been happy with that forever. Movies on demand! But with DVDs you get to watch your favorite parts over and over without rewinding AND you get all the background documentary type stuff.

7. Fresh fruit out of season--did you see Victorian House on PBS? The vegetarian participant had the choice of potatoes, cabbage and rutabegas. That's all that was in season in winter. Not even a hothouse tomato. Look around your produce department in December. We can have anything.

8. Hot showers--I love 'em. Best way to kick off a morning. We have land in the country and a half built house with no running water at all and spending the night out there is a real eye opening reminder of how easy life is with water on tap.

9. Air conditioning--how can you live in Texas and not spend the entire summer on your knees thanking God for the blessing of cool air. I remember, as a child in the 1950's, when we got our first window unit. It went in my parents' bedroom. We all lived in that one room!

10. Gift certificates--what a great present! Right now I have one from Outback and one from Central Market, just waiting to give me a good time whenever I'm in the mood. (And DH can take me to the movies again with the rest of his AMC gift card.)

11. Cell phones--not too many years ago, long distances phone calls were an expensive luxury. Now we have more minutes than we can use in a month, even talking weekly to friends and family all over the country.

12. Big plans--when I was younger, I thought 40 was old and that anything older than that was heading for the rocking chair. But we have all kinds of exciting possibilities on the drawing board and are looking forward to putting them into action.

13. He's coming back!--I believe with all my heart that we are the generation that will see that happen. It doesn't get better than that!

Say Wha'?

2006-09-14T13:09:00.000-05:00

My DH's name is Clifford (known as "Cliff" to other people, "Honey" to me--all irrelevant, but just to let you know that no one actually calls him "Clifford"). And he has a friend/employee named Antonio. This is all just background...

Shortly before they moved into Newbighouse, ksl brought Firecracker to me and said, "Tell Grammie what these are." She held up toenail clippers. And with a huge grin, he very proudly announced, "They Antonio Cliffords!"

Wow...personal hygiene will never be the same for me...

Remembrance

2006-09-11T22:30:00.000-05:00

One of the things that ties our hearts together over 9/11 is the desire to tell our part of the story, where we were, what we thought and how it made us feel. That's why blogs all over the country have the events of that day 5 years ago as their topic for the day. And I'm no different.

I was home working that day, as I am every week day. Taking care of little babies. I never have the TV on because babies don't need to have the TV on. My sweet son-in-law knew that I never knew when something was happening, so he always called me when he felt like there was breaking news that I needed to know about. That morning he called and his voice was tight and tense as he said, "Go turn on the TV." I asked him what channel and he said it didn't matter, that it was on all the channels. And there it was--fire and fire. The second plane had already hit by the time I tuned in and they were playing the film clips over and over. No one could make any sense of what was happening.

DH and I are homebodies with local jobs and local lives, but I have two brothers who travel all over the place with their jobs. And I had to know if they were safe. I called them both and was vastly relieved to learn that they were nowhere near NYC. (One was stranded in Atlanta when all the air traffic was grounded. He grabbed one of the last rental cars in the city and drove home.) And one of my daycare babies' mom worked for American Airlines and she got stranded in Ohio. Also grabbed a car and drove home.

I've read a lot of blogs of people who were nowhere near a TV and watched very little of the news because it was too difficult. I was just the opposite. Home all day, I couldn't tear myself away from the extensive coverage. I watched for 16-18 hours a day. Even when it got to be too much to bear and I would leave it for a few minutes, I would be back almost immediately. The people who lost their loved ones couldn't leave their pain. How could I just turn it off and go back to my happy life? It was days before I could stop--eleven days to be exact.

We had tickets to fly to Denver for vacation on September 22. We talked about cancelling, but we had only taken ONE other vacation in 30 years of marriage. We had free reservations at a resort in Colorado. So we went.

I really expected to see armed guards all over the airport. My parents have traveled all over the world and have talked about how weird it is to see soldiers with machine guns on duty in airports. That's sorta what I was expecting. So extra checkpoints with very little increase in waiting time was a pleasant surprise. Flying itself is something I enjoy. Flying at this particular time was not scary or alarming. But I cried anyway, thinking about what it must have been like for the passengers on those four hijacked airplanes.

When we reached the resort, I made the conscious decision to stop watching the news reports. Again with guilt. But I needed to stop. I had seen all I could handle and I was already praying. I couldn't do anything more.

Three Meme

2006-08-29T15:43:00.000-05:00

I've watched this go around with the kids' answers..really cute! Now they're tagging grownups and I get to play :-) ! Thanks, loni!

THREE NICKNAMES: Mom, Grammie, Honey

THREE PEOPLE THAT MAKE ME LAUGH: My goofy DH, the grandkids, my brothers

THREE THINGS THAT I LOVE: Worship dance, sleeping late, foot rubs

THREE THINGS THAT I HATE: Throwing up, Texas summers, conflict

THREE THINGS THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND: People who won't forgive you when you say you are sorry, married people who would rather get divorced than stay and work out their problems, people who want to save the whales and abort the babies.

THREE THINGS ON MY FLOOR: HA! There are not very many places where we can even see the floor right now! Three of the PILES are: stuff from the linen closet that we're selling at the garage sale this weekend, stuff from the bedroom closet that we're selling at the garage sale this weekend, and tons of toys (some we're selling and some that the grandkids are playing with.)

THREE THINGS I AM DOING RIGHT NOW: trying to finish this quickly before the napping babies wake up, trying to distract CreamPuff while her parents do the final walkthrough on NewBigHouse, and wondering what we're going to have for dinner.

THREE THINGS I CAN DO: Read in Hebrew (on about a Pre-K level--if the vowel markings are included), drive a stick shift, knit with three different colors of yarn at one time

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY: intense, upbeat, optomistic

THREE THINGS I CANNOT DO: remember where I put my ____ (keys, shoes, purse, important papers--fill in the blank) without a great deal of hyperfocused backtracking, eat foods with gluten, d0 some things quickly (I clean slow, I sew slow, I cross-stitch slow, I write blogs slow...)

THREE FAVORITE FOODS: avocado, brownies, my potato salad

THREE FOODS I DO NOT LIKE: liver, seafood, lamb

THREE BEVERAGES I DRINK REGULARLY: tea, kefir, Perfectly Protein

THREE SHOWS I WATCH: Numb3rs, History Detectives, PBS American Experience

Into the Home Stretch

2006-08-15T18:25:00.000-05:00

I've been doing daycare for over 20 years and because my favorite age is the babies, I "graduate" my young charges when they hit their first birthday. And because it really is a little to0 difficult to let go of a sweet little person you have known all their life, I have unconsciously developed a little mind game. A few weeks before they are set to go to an exciting new toddler program which is more in keeping with their big grown up selves, I begin to allow myself to be annoyed by certain behaviours which had previously not been a problem. This one cries so darn loud or that one doesn't nap worth a flip. As I focus on what a pain these things are, I begin to look forward to how much better it will be when they move on. So by the time they actually leave, I can kiss them goodbye with a big smile and be ready to embrace the replacement baby.

Well, my sweet daughter and her husband and 3 fabulous children are just about ready to move to their new big house. It's all finished, the walk through is this week, papers to be signed next week. And last week, I found myself just a little huffy about the noise, the mess, the stuff layin' around. It's been like that from day one, so I was a little annoyed with myself for suddenly having a problem with it. Then I realized that my "disconnect" mode had activated itself.
Had to go into my brain and turn it off. Even so, I feel a little guilty that any part of me will be happy to be back to our quiet existance. I will miss them so much.

Anniversaries all around

2006-08-13T20:10:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm late, but that's old news. But it has been said that I NEVER blog and I can't let that pass. Actually, we went on a real live, "out of town, stay in a resort, see the shows, sleep in, go shopping" kind of vacation. (At DH's suggestion and encouragement, I bought this outrageously theatrical looking garment--velvet with peacock feathers beaded onto it--ksl promptly dubbed it "the sultan's bathrobe" and said that when I come to my senses and get rid of it, she wants it for CreamPuff's dress up trunk). Anyway, we came home to "need to get ready for work but the main sewer line in the house is clogged so you can't do the mountain of laundry or wash the dirty dishes". So this has been a busy week of catch up. DH worked hard this week, too, so, apart from a very sweet two dozen roses, we haven't yet celebrated. But this year was 35. 35 years of happily ever after. Made sweeter by the fact that it was also 10 years and 5 years of happily ever after for our two sweet girls and the wonderful men they picked to marry. I love my wonderful husband. I love it that we made the two sweetest little baby girls in the whole wide world who grew up into amazing, strong, beautiful women who are living lives of purpose and passion with husbands they love and are giving us grandchildren that are delightful beyond description. We have the best lives in the world and we give the Lord all praise and glory for His incredible goodness to us. Happy (belated) anniversaries to us all! :-)

and Kathy wants...

2006-07-23T10:26:00.000-05:00

Picked this up from KEP . Google your own name plus the word "wants" and see what comes up. A little silly, but funny.

1. Kathy wants...a Tablet PC.

2. Kathy wants...to drive a race car.

3. Kathy wants...to quit smoking for good.

4. Kathy wants...to make sure local councils have the right and power to plan reasonably.

5. Kathy wants...to get her hands on some black caulk!

6. Kathy wants...to look good, but thinks of herself as more of a whole person.

7. Kathy wants...to purse the task of learning the steps to post.

8. Kathy wants...to lose 12 pounds.

9. Kathy wants...to get all the boxes out of storage.

10.Kathy wants...to make sure you know that she wouldn't ignore Mr. Right if he ever shows up!

The "rules" (are there any?) don't say you have to take the first ten, so I skipped a few that were too creepy for my taste. Oh, and Mr. Right actually showed up about 35 years ago. I don't ignore him, but occasionally I make the mistake of taking him for granted. :-(

...and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!

2006-07-14T22:29:00.000-05:00

ksl and I were sitting at the kitchen table after work yesterday and suddenly there was a scream of genuine pain and distress from Firecracker in the playroom. He was in there all alone and there had been no crash so she leaped up and raced in there to see what was wrong. She brought him back to the kitchen (stopping at the frig for one of those frozen things to put on boo-boos) and then held him in her lap while he sobbed. I asked him, "Sweetie, what happened?" He stopped crying and glared at me in fury. "YOUR ARK pinched my finger!!" Wow. My bad. And there was really nothing anybody could say to him to make it not my fault. Obviously, I need to be more careful.

It's so quiet!

2006-07-06T13:47:00.000-05:00

I had forgotten how quiet my house can be. And clean at the same time :-) The timing for this day is just fluky. The cleaning lady came yesterday and then last night we had a birthday party for Bubby (I'm sure his mama will post about it later when she has time.) And as soon as the party food was put away, Bubby and all his family loaded up the car and left for a visit with out of state relatives. Leaving me with a clean house. And today, my only daycare baby who can walk (and who is, therefore, capable of making any kind of mess--if you don't count spit-up, which is something they all do very well) is out of town. The only folks here just eat, sleep, poop, grin and play for just a minute, then sleep some more (and poop some more). No one is screaming "NO" because you breathed on him, no one is slamming doors on his brother's fingers, no one is promising you that "I ready to obey" when obedience is the last thing on his mind, there is no "KISS ME, I'M GLUTEN FREE!" Just quiet. It's really nice.....and yet......oh, my, I do miss them.

Last night, while they were packing the car for the trip, I sat and held the Cream Puff for awhile. And she decided she would kiss me. A lot. She grabbed my hair (ouch!) and pulled it really hard so she could get up close to rub her slobbery mouth all over my cheeks and chin and neck. It was so gross--slimy and wet. I would wipe my face dry with her dress and she would kiss me again. We were both laughing so hard. Sweet, sweet, sloppy, precious baby kisses. When she goes to live in the pink room in her big new house, she will be mad at me for disappearing. And I will miss her.

The Happiest News

2006-06-28T10:51:00.000-05:00

I doubt that there is anybody in the world who reads this blog who doesn't arrive here through a link from KEP or KSL But I still have to do the "happy dance" here, too. There isn't any news in the world better than hearing that a new baby is on its way. A new little grandson or granddaughter. And we got that glorious news yesterday. My heart is so full of joy and gratitude. Such an answer to prayer--many prayers. Blessed are you, O L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe, who created joy and gladness--and poured an oceanful of it over us.

Back to Basics

2006-06-19T16:03:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in awhile--not because there's nothing going on, but because there's so MUCH going on. I'm currently emptying out my backyard of the large plastic play equipment--turning clutter into cold, hard cash. My first auction just finished and I made $61. It's ridiculous how pleased I am about that. I read an article many years ago (I think it was Erma Bombeck) about how you could get so sucked into selling stuff at your garage sale (old timey, lowtech, less effective version of eBay) that you would sell your brand new iron that you just bought for $20 and had never used for $5 just because somebody asked for it. I'm now looking around my house at almost everything I own, wondering how much somebody would pay me for it. We've already been through the years of accumulating and acquiring and raising kids and saving the stuff for posterity (DH and I are both first children of parents who lived through the Depression and the inclination for pack ratty-ness has been very strong in both of us). We gathered and inherited and saved the little treasures of our children's childhoods for the day when we would pass on the memories of all the generations into their hands. And I assumed that that day would be when they were talking together in hushed whispers about what to do with Mama.
But I am finding, to my amazement, that the day is dawning when I'm still relatively young. I'm tired of dusting. I want freedom. I want to be able to live in a little IKEA efficiency apt. Why not give them the stuff they like now? They're going to get it eventually anyway and I can visit it any time I want to (if I behave myself :-) This is such a new point of view for me--and the more I think about it, the better I like it.

Over ten years ago, DH and I got a word from the Lord to streamline. We didn't know what that meant or what we should do. But now, it makes sense. We need to be able to move freely wherever He directs without the anchor of lots of possessions. Yesterday we heard about a mission trip to Colorado to work for a week in the ministry of a friend of ours. Right now we're not free enough to pick up and go. But we will be soon. And the thought of that gives us more joy than our stuff ever did.

"G" Whiz

2006-05-28T21:12:00.000-05:00

I got nominated for being assigned a letter of the alphabet for which you pick ten words and explain their significance in your life. My letter is "G", so here we go.

1. GOD--first, foremost, and most amazingly, personal, real, and available to us through His Son.

2. GRAMMIE--the newest season in my life, which I totally and absolutely just love. And being "grammie" is especially sweet to me because my daughters called my mother "grammie" and she called her grandmother "gram". And as my sweet Gilly tells me, "We love each other SO much!!"

3. GIGGLES--it has been my very great joy to have so many days of my life seasoned with the laughter of children. My own babies and other peoples. And my mother told me that hearing my children laugh reminded her of me as a little girl.

4. GLUTEN FREE--I learned last March that I shouldn't eat wheat, rye, oats and barley--ever again in my whole life. Do you have any idea how many places in the food chain wheat is hiding? And that spontenaity flies out the window when you can't eat something you can't verify is safe?

5. GENESIS--one of my favorite books of the Bible. Not only does it have lots of the wonderful stories we all learned in Sunday School, but it is a gold mine of wisdom and understanding as we grow older. The foundation of God's plan for His creation and the promise of His Messiah are in this amazing book.

6. GOING--I love going. I love the process of traveling to someplace else, I love being someplace else, I love coming home to the comfortable and familiar. We spent 4 years traveling 2 hours each way to worship with a congregation that some very dear friends of ours were establishing in another city and I never got tired of the journey. And I love our dependable little workhorse of a car--VW New Beetle Diesel (50 mpg, thank you very much!)--which keeps driving affordable in these day of $2.75 per gallon fuel.

7. GREEN--not my favorite color. It's my brother's favorite color. But my favorite color is blue and that doesn't start with a "G". Blue is beautiful; green--not so much.

8. GRIEG--I don't know that I would call him my favorite composer, because I like so much of what so many other people wrote, too. But his Peer Gynt Suite is not only really good listening but also the source of a favorite memory. (See post) And the beginning part of his Concerto is some key or another is great.

9. GENERATIONS--the older I get, the more I love the connectedness of life. The memories of my childhood in the 1950's, the stories my mother told me of growing up in the 30's, and my children's memories of growing up in the 80's are a part of our family history. As I watch my grandchildren grow, I am more aware of the importance of building a legacy in their lives, of sharing with them the love of God who sees from the first generation to the last. Deut 7:9

10. GIT R DONE--Our lives have been greatly enriched by the wonderful young men our daughters married. They are bright and funny, good husbands and fathers. And, since I don''t get out much :-) , I hear much of what is current in the world through one of them. The first time I ever heard this expression was from Clay. And it cracked me up. So even though it belongs to culture, I think of this as his own personal funny.

ABC MEME

2006-05-14T17:00:00.000-05:00

When our living room was so torn up and life was so chaotic, I just didn't have the emotional energy to blog. But some people (!) keep asking me when I'm going to get back to it and this is the kind of jumpstart I need. So here's my contribution to the ABC dialogue.

ACCENT: I was born and raised in Texas and sounded City Texan rather than Country Texan. Then we spent 14 years in New Jersey and I lost a lot of my accent and learned to talk WAY too fast for my husband who tells me to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n on a regular basis.
BIBLE BOOK THAT I LIKE: Isaiah and James
CHORE I DON'T CARE FOR: Dealing with clutter. Stuff that piles up overwhelms me.
DOG OR CAT: Uh...that would be someone else's dog or someone else's cat. My poor children pined for a pet but they never had one. (Oh, except Daughter#1 had a guinea pig once that she left with a friend when we went on vacation. It died while we were gone and her friend's mom didn't want to dispose of the body without letting our child say goodbye, so she put it in the freezer and returned the corpse-cicle to us when we came home. Gee, thanks!!)
ESSENTIAL ELECTRONICS: We have only the very most elementary--TV, VCR, DVD. I have a iPod which I like to use when I remember and a Palm Pilot that has my lists of gluten free foods. But I'm on my computer multiple times a day.
FAVORITE COLOGNE: I like Bath and Body Works "Moonlight Path"
GOLD OR SILVER: Yes. My wedding ring is gold but I wear my silver James Avery charm bracelet all the time (until the clasp broke and now I can't remember where it is).
HANDBAG I CARRY MOST OFTEN: Old, old black one that is so faded it looks navy, too, so I carry it with everything. Pretty pathetic, but no one has EVER suggested that I have any fashion sense.
INSOMNIA: Either not at all or half the night. And there seems to be no rhyme or reason cause that I can pinpoint.
JOB TITLE: Wife, mom, grammie, hyperfocused bulldog, researcher of whatever I find interesting.
KIDS: Two wonderful daughters, each married to a wonderful husband; each is a wonderful mother.
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Me and my sweetie of almost 35 years, with our younger daughter's family currently living with us til their new house is finished.
MOST ADMIRABLE TRAIT: That's a hard one. Some of the qualities that I happen to think are a gift from G-d are a little difficult for my family to put up with, like seeing things very black and white.
NAUGHTIEST CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOR: Refusing to take naps. My mother told me once that I would be sorry someday that I wasn't willing to take my naps and when I was a sleepy young mother with babies who wouldn't sleep, I was SO sorry!
OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: Childbirth 1975, 1981
PHOBIAS: I won't sleep in our trailer in the country because it has critters.
QUOTE: "Worry slanders every promise in the Word of G-d"
RELIGION: Raised Methodist. Out of the clear blue sky, the L-rd dropped a hunger into my heart to reconnect with the Jewish roots of our faith, so now I'm also a Messianic Gentile.
SIBLINGS: Three brothers
TIME I WAKE UP: 5:30 am
UNUSUAL TALENT OR SKILL: I'm told that the ability to work in a roomful of crying babies and not be frazzled is unusual.
VEGETABLE I REFUSE TO EAT: I like a lot of vegetables, even the slimy okra and the dreaded spinach and broccoli, but there are some that shouldn't be allowed to take up space in the produce department-- eggplant, brussels sprouts,
WORST HABIT: I fall off the healthy eating wagon far too often. I eat healthy for months and then I'll wipe out a six-pack of Hershey bars in one day, along with a bag of Mission Tortilla Chips and a pint of Haagen Daz Coffee Ice Cream.
X-RAYS: Broken arm (had to be set by an orthopedic surgeon), regular dental stuff and chiropractic x-rays
YUMMY STUFF I COOK: Lasagna, Brownies, Creole chicken--all gluten free
ZOO ANIMAL I LIKE MOST: Haven't been to the zoo for my own pleasure in years. It's the most fun to take a child you love and see what a good time THEY have.

House of Chaos

2006-03-19T16:11:00.000-06:00

We're repainting the living room. That sounds fairly simple, but it is the last step in the rip-out-all-the-termite-eaten-paneling, replace-sheetrock, wrap-everything-in plastic, scrape-off-the-popcorn-ceiling, slather-joint-compound-all-over-everything, spray-texture-all-over, scrape the texture flat, paint-everything-with-Kilz, THEN paint the living room. It is a dusty mess that takes over everything. My computer has been under several layers of plastic and jammed up next to the television, which rendered both of them inaccessible. There will be pictures of the before and after, when after is finished. But we did get the painting done, which means we could put away the plastic and vacuum and vacuum and vacuum. There is still a lot to be done in terms of getting all the trim painted and installed--and the doorjambs and the crown moulding. So now I can get to my computer and we can actually sit on the couch and watch a little TV. And it does look lovely.

The phone...the grandkids

2006-02-27T10:39:00.000-06:00

My phone rings. I love caller ID. I recognize my daughter's number, so I answer with a cheery, "Hey!" No one responds. Ahhh! This means I have a grandchild on the line. So I shift into Grammie mode. "Hi, sweetie! Who is this?" "Iss Ax!" "Hi, Alex. How are you?" "something unintelligible" "Did you have breakfast?" "YES!" "What did you have?" "something unintelligible" "Are you and Matthew playing?" "YES", then a long something unintelligible. "What are you--" "BYE". He's all done with me.

His mom comes on the line, laughing. "What did we just say" I ask her. She laughs again. "I don't know; I thought he was answering your questions."

So she and I start a conversation about the craziness of childrearing. We talk for about two minutes, then there is weeping in the background. "I'm sorry, sweetie, we don't have any plums. I offered you one but you didn't want it, so someone else ate it. You can have some tropical fruit if you're still hungry." Still weeping. "Ax" is not hungry for tropical fruit. He's only hungry for the plum he didn't want which is now in someone else's tummy. We talk for a few more minutes, and then..."ALEX! Get your tongue off that! Alexander, do not lick that! If your spit goes anywhere near that, I will put it away and you will not be allowed to play with it!" And there is more weeping.

We chat a few more minutes. The weeping is the background ceases. And we chat a little longer and then..."WHY ARE YOU NEKKID?! Mom, I gotta go." We hang up.

And I laugh and laugh. Being the mother of the nekkid child is serious work. Being the grandmother of the nekkid child is HIGH-larious!

I love naptime!

2006-02-23T11:28:00.000-06:00

My sweet little babies have tag-teamed me for most of this week, but today for the first time in awhile they all went to sleep at the same time. So I can reasonably expect more than an hour of uninterrupted time in which to do something productive. And this is where I question the sanity of having added blog time to my already overburdened schedule. Am I cleaning? NO Am I trying to figure out what in the world we will have for dinner? Certainly not. Am I even treating myself to some channel surfing while I fold laundry? Anything that will dig us out of the end of the week pileups? ...sigh... You already know the answer to these questions. I sit at the computer...and...now what I will do with all this time is a moot point. I hear someone in the other room who wants to get up. Oh, well...

And now there is "fashing"

2006-02-22T13:07:00.001-06:00

I've been too busy to post for awhile. We were preparing for the "graduation" of a marriage class that we were teaching. Getting ready for that involves massive amounts of cleaning (and prayer), and phone calling (and prayer), and then setting out chairs for a totally unknown number of couples to come and hear about how to have God's best for their marriage. As we tell the couples, then is the "hardest fun you will ever have".

The day after we finished with that, my DH told me that he wants to start a remodeling job in our living room. And I said, "Yes, we talked about doing that at some point and yes, what a good idea that is and yes, when we get this, that, and the other thing done first, then we will jump right into that project." And HE said, "Uh, no. I want to start now." And I said, "Now? Like, right this minute, now?" And he said, "Mmmm...yes." And he went and got his crowbar and here we are--in the midst of "fashing" which is our granddaughter's unique rendition of the word "smash". In the space of just a few hours, he very efficiently ripped all the trim off most of the room, tore the paneling off one wall and then smoothed the sheetrock underneath with joint compound. When he's all done, we will look smooth and clean and modern instead of 1978 chic.

This is a very new thing around here--his wanting to do something like this in our house. But 2 years ago, he started a home remodeling business and now he has all these new skills and he's fast and he enjoys the process. And he has all this joint compound and...stuff...from a whole bunch of jobs he's done. So to do our LR is just his labor (and he's promised me a discount!) Already one wall is all stripped and half prepped and could be ready to paint with one more layer of joint compound. One down, three to go. In the meantime, I have to decide on what color we are going to use (he's all excited about something called "spiced vinegar") and then figure out how to decorate my posh new room. I've never had a posh new room before and I have no clue where to start. (I'm told that someone I love who reads this blog is a Martha Stewart fan! Suggestions are welcome.)

Takes My Breath Away...

2006-02-17T22:26:00.000-06:00

For most people, that phrase calls to mind a hot shot movie. But that's nothin'. What takes my breath away is bouncing my 6 week old granddaughter up and down in my lap and watching her wonderful chubby little face crinkle into the same goofy, cross-eyed grin that I got from her mother 24 years ago. It's watching her 2 1/2 year old cousin dissolve into hysterical giggles as she pours water into her Dora bath doll's face and I make sputtering, drowning noises. Matthew telling me very earnestly that "Ayaksa" is one of the fifty, nifty United States. The little grin on Alex's face when I come into the room, followed by the huge, ear to ear smile when he realizes that his Poppy is right behind me. I love it! Mmmmmm...takes my breath away....

The Learning Curve

2006-02-14T10:56:00.000-06:00

Our children keep us modern. They are the reason we have 2 computers, DSL, and now, my very own blog. They make sure we update, modernize, and just generally have some forward motion in the technicological march to the sea. I learned from my daughter not to type my messages with the CAP key on, because that's SCREAMING.

Last night I learned, all by myself, not to blog right before I go to bed. Not to read my daughter's "100 Things About Me" post; not to get those creative juices flowing. Because I will go to bed and lay there making my own "100 Things" list (I just assume I'm going to need to do that--that's what blogging is for, right!) So, now I know that blogging is like caffeine--just fine during the day, but not for consumption after 6:00pm if you want to get a good night's sleep

What am I doing here?!

2006-02-13T17:45:00.000-06:00

The obvious answer that springs to mind is either "I don't Know!" or "My daughter made me!" Part of me (a big part!) is very sure that I totally don't have time for this. But I really enjoy reading Kelli's blog. We live close enough to each other that neither of us has to go to WalMart alone, we talk on the phone a dozen times a day and yet...I still love to read her blog. She called today and (yet again!) told me I should blog. When I told her that I had gone so far as to sign up with a username and a password, which I could no longer remember, but that I had bogged down when I had to decide what to call it, she got right online, finished the set-up and told me to get busy! So here I am. It will be interesting to see where this takes us.

Test Post

2006-02-13T14:02:00.000-06:00

Does this work?